


When the Frost Melts

by AraEtoile18



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Kim Hongjoong is Whipped, M/M, Matter of Life and Death, Mentions of Death, Mild Sexual Content, Not between Seonghwa and Hongjoong, Prince Jung Wooyoung, Prince Kim Hongjoong, Sad and Sweet, Soft Kim Hongjoong, Soulmates, Top Park Seonghwa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AraEtoile18/pseuds/AraEtoile18
Summary: After years of being apart the universe allows Hongjoong and Seonghwa a single year together, over which they navigate the path to their forbidden passionate love and end up facing the unsettling consequences.Hongjoong will become king when winter ends."You were the pieces of me I shared with no-one else"
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 12





	When the Frost Melts

They say every ending is a new beginning. 

That if one door closes another will open. Is that true even in death? Could death possibly just be another adventure waiting on the other side of a river, on the underside of the earth, a world undiscovered, a path waiting to be walked? 

His legs carried him, as fast as they possibly could. Feet wrapped in small pointed, leather shoes with laces running around his ankles like vines traveling up his legs, meeting with the loose red fabric of his pants. 

His bag was slung over his shoulder, slack, soft and tan, it was overflowing, jumping with him over every rock and stream. His breath was lagging behind him, dragging slowly along the ground, as if the faster he ran the further he got from it. Short gasps coming and going. 

But he was determined, death would not catch him, this was his escape, his chance at The Beyond, his new beginning. And although he may have loved what he was leaving behind he was hopeful, that possibly, one day they would meet again, in the grove at the peak of the hill or in the rolling field below.

And maybe by then the shrub would have grown and from it, life would have flourished. 

* * *

Hongjoong’s head felt heavy as he held it perched on his right hand, looking out over endless fields of green luscious grass, that he had come to forget. They looked greener than before, brighter, more full. It made him want to stop the carriage, strip off his robs and roll down the falling hills into the cooling river below.

It would not matter if the carriage left without him, or if he were to be stuck there forever, with no one else. At least freedom would be an open door, swung wide, welcoming him in with all its open space and endless adventure.

To go on an adventure again, that would be nice. To leave behind all sense of responsibility and just run, fly, hide. It had been some years since he had properly returned home, to his mother, to their palace. But he had yet to forget the feeling once he rode through the gates to be greeted by guards upon guards surrounded by villagers pushing their way through to see his face once again. At least someone was delighted to see him, so he offered a shallow wave and light smile from behind the small window of the cart. 

It all felt so very familiar, as if he had travelled back in time and never left at all. The palace too was just as he had left it, grand, gold, spotless corridors running for what seemed like miles from one room to the next. His room had not changed in the slightest, the wooden train still sitting perched on the table beside his four-post master bed and the sheets were still a light baby blue and peach colour. Some things never change. 

The evening ran smoothly, from the awkward reunion with his mother to the large meal placed before him that he couldn’t find the stomach to eat. His brother sat at the other end of the table throwing glances at him from over his plate, his mother at the top. 

He had never quite met his brother, as when he left the boy was only 9. But he could tell he was just as annoying now as ever and even 8 years later he still acted the same as he did all those years ago.

“I take it your travels went well?” His mother’s soft voice echoed around the hall reminding him how incredibly large it truly was as she sat at least two metres down the table from him. 

“Relatively” 

“Find yourself a queen yet?” Wooyoung smirked with his lips pulled tight “News travelled that you were paired with one from the north” his eyebrows shuffled on his forehead. 

“Wooyoung! That is no way to speak to your brother on his return. His private business is none of your concern”, but Hongjoong knew she would be asking the very same question tonight, in the drawing room, when no one else would be listening. 

After a couple of days of returning home it all felt normal again. The robes didn’t feel as uncomfortable as when he first put them on, he was able to fill himself with the food placed before him and the heat from the sun that shone through his window too early in the morning didn’t wake him. 

He began to get used to palace life again. 

When he was traveling, he would spend long hours in his carriage and so was allowed dress more casually, until entering another neighbouring kingdom. His mother had sent him away at 12 years old to be trained professionally, in case of another war, which had not occurred in the past 75 years. Yet tradition lived on, that the eldest of the royal family would be military trained to lead one’s kingdom into war if such an event occurred. 

He had always been skilled with a bow and arrow and enjoyed shooting sessions in the gardens on some warm spring evenings. He even used to venture out into the forest surrounding the kingdom on certain occasions, when the moon would be bright enough to light his path and his robes would be stuck to him from the heat, reassuring him he wouldn’t freeze. 

It was in this forest he met a boy, around the same age as him, taller though and broader. And it was to there he began to return once a week to reunite with this boy who he grew to love, only to be torn apart a few years later. 

* * *

“Your lesson will be held in the courtyard today Your highness” “Thank you Yeosang, you may leave my gear on the table on your way out”. Within moments Yeosang had departed and Hongjoong was left alone drowning in a sea of blankets and sheets. His eyelids felt heavy today as he got up to pour the warm water left for him into the blue china basin and rinse the sleep from his eyes. 

The sun was warm as it flooded into his room through the thin white lace curtains. The birds perched in the tree outside his window whispered their morning song with the utmost delicacy. He dressed quickly, ate breakfast in the grand dining room across from his talkative brother and headed outside into the courtyard. 

His trainer was standing waiting, leaning against the concrete pillar and looking out over the village. “It’s a lovely morning, isn’t it Jongho” “It is your highness, I can already hear their song echoing through the streets, they like these types of mornings best”. He turned around and handed him his bow before heading over to the horses that were being saddled. 

“I thought we could go on a ride first, try some hunting, I’m sure it’s been a while since you have been out”. Although Hongjoong despised hunting, the killing, shooting at poor innocent animals who had no notion of life, never mind death, he nodded in agreement, knowing it was the life he was born into. 

“I must say Sir, it is wonderful to have you back with us”.

One evening he made his way out onto the back balcony of the house, the one that looked over the gardens, over the maze of bushes below which swirled into a centre, where a table and two emerald metal chairs sat. The sky above him hung heavy, few stars shone through the cloud which covered the darkness, and the heat was clammy. 

Although he called this place home, it didn’t quite seem like it. He didn’t feel like he fit with the women who pranced around him every evening waiting to be courted, or the banquets that lasted for days before everyone decided they could no longer stuff their face. He was never into parties, large gatherings, the warmth from a mix of bodies hanging suffocatingly low in the air. 

The music behind him continued on, a waltz of such, the timing a mix between 4/4 and 6/8 with juts of energy at regular intervals as though the band would suddenly stop and then start up again. 

“Aren’t you coming back inside your highness”, he turned to be met with a woman clad in violet silk robes, the straps adorning her neckline traced their way down and wrapped around her body, making her waist seem impossibly small.

“I needed some air is all” he faced back towards the gardens leaning his elbows on the cool marble of the balcony to look out into the night. “But it’s cold out, your mother sent me to fetch you” as she inched closer her hand traced over his shoulders. 

He knew this woman, they had met on his final tour of the kingdom before his return, she was one of the princesses his mother adored, but he couldn’t remember her name, and couldn’t care less either way. 

He tried to dodge her advances with a light chuckle “I’ll be alright” he nodded and moved further to the right across the balcony. Her face stayed in its straight unwavering position as if unimpressed with his attempts to shy her away. Her makeup was so thick, her skin like pure white bread, lips red as blood and outlined dramatically.

“Very well, I shall dance with you later in the evening then. You should know I’m staying for a couple of days. We could possibly walk the gardens tomorrow afternoon?”.

He turned to her briefly and smiled and she disappeared back into the sea of waltzing bodies.

Rumours had spread throughout some of the neighbouring towns and villages of Hongjoong’s lack of interest, his lack of desire for any one in particular. He was coming to an age where being unmarried, as a prince, was almost like being a baker without bread or a painter without paint. He needed a queen and was reminded of such on a daily basis, by everyone around him. 

After his father’s passing all the attention turned to him as the next heir to the throne, so even at 12 years old his mother began looking for someone to satisfy him. But none were found, no attraction came. Time had run out now, so whether he liked or despised the partner that was chosen for him, he had no choice in the matter, an arranged marriage would have to be the case. 

The morning came with a battering of heavy rain against the roof above his head. He rolled over and opened his eyes to Yeosang refilling his water jug and laying his clothes on the rack at the door. “How long is she going to be staying?” 

“Sorry, your highness, I’m not sure who-“ “The princess, the one from the banquet last night”. Yeosang cleared his throat and Hongjoong lifted his head to see what the matter possibly was, he was met with a worried looking face.

“Your majesty, I believe she is staying” there was a long pause as Hongjoong dared not ask if he meant staying for a week, or a month or- “as your queen”. 

“Mother! You should have...” Hongjoong stormed through the double doors to the dining room as they were pulled open for him, voice raised slightly higher than he was meant to inside the palace walls. But in place of his mother was a slender peach body, wrapped in mint green and gold fabrics, a small gold rimmed tea cup in her dainty fingers, her eyes blown wide open at the sight of him. 

He cleared his throat and gave a light bow as red creeped up his neck “I’m sorry, I was not informed of your presence”. “Please sit, I’m sure your mother will join us shortly” her eyelashes fluttered. He desperately needed to leave. 

“Ah....m-my apologies, I’m otherwise occupied this morning. I will see you in the afternoon, fortunately-ah no...unfortunately looks as though the weather will not hold up for that walk. Possibly tomorrow”, the words scrambled out of his mouth as he backed away from the table and rushed out the door into the hallway, pressing his back up against the cool tiles once he had reached safety. 

He barely caught a glimpse of her shocked face before the double doors before him closed again. He turned to the guards standing either side, “Tell the Queen I’ve gone for a ride”, a nod and he was off. 

The horse was already saddled in the stables and although he knew it was actually saddled for the guards who upkeep law and order in the village, he swung his short legs up over the horses back and fastened himself in. 

He needed to escape, even with the rain battering down on his braided hair and his good robes drenched to the skin, he felt better than being stuck in that room. He made his way out of the grounds to the edge of the garden where the forest met with the small bridge that crossed the stream far below.

This was that forest, the forest he used to sneak off to as a child, the forest he met that boy. It was their secret, their own universe, a place where no one else seemed to pass through, as though it were forbidden to enter. 

He followed the path he remembered to the tree that they used to meet at. A large oak tree which sat in a clearing on a hill. This oak tree was at the edge of the forest and looked out over a yellow wheat field, when the time was right, and then the village below. The path still seemed to have been stamped out creating a walkway to follow, maybe others had passed through this way, maybe it was no longer theirs.

He wondered if he would even recognise this boy if he were to meet him. They had never shared their names, or at least their real names, as Hongjoong was too cautious to spread the fact that he was a prince, even at the age of 7 when they first met. 

But it paid off, he was treated no differently, he was shown what true childhood was like by this boy, adventure, imagination, wonder and through it all he needed not worry about the fact that they were from different backgrounds or were of different social status, as the boy treated him as equal. That’s all he wanted, to treated for who he was, not what he was. 

The rain continued to drown the forest floor, making it all the harder to trek through the dense trees, but he continued none the less. The likeliness of this boy sitting at the tree like he used to, at least 8 years later was almost mad to believe. 

But even just to find that tree, to see it with his own eyes again. Even just to remind himself there was a life like that at some point, that there was something beyond the walls of his palace, would be nice. He needed that right now, some grounding, some reassurance all was not lost in the world. 

He reached the bottom of the hill, where the roots tangled into knots below his feet and got off his horse to tie the reigns around a trunk. The hill was less steep than he remembered and his small leather shoes helped him climb to the top in a matter of seconds. 

And there, as he rounded the thick bark of the tree, running his hands along the familiar ridges, sat a boy. With a pen in his hand, he was frantically writing words which were slowly smudging and trailing down the page from the rain. 

He never noticed him, just continued on writing, his lips pressed firmly together and eyebrows creased. Every now and then his tongue would sneak out between his lips to wet them and then retreat, his head tilting to the side. He was no longer a boy, but it was him, it was definitely him. 

Hongjoong’s heartrate increased dramatically more than it should have at seeing a common village boy, but he couldn’t help it. It was the same deep black hair and angelic soft smooth skin of his cheekbones that he had remembered. Everything was more defined now, more prominent. His lips were fuller, his hands larger and slightly veiny. Hongjoong felt hot, like tiny prickles were being poked into his spine causing the hair on the back of his neck to rise. 

Maybe he wouldn’t recognise Hongjoong, with his now longer, blonde hair and possibly smudged, leaking eye makeup. Maybe he would merely see a prince and nothing else, as everyone else seemed to.

After staring for too long under the patchy shelter offered by the tree he decided to sneak back around it and climb down the hill to go home. But just as he took a step backwards, eyes constantly stuck to the boy in front of him to make sure he didn’t look up, his foot slipped from under him. 

“Oh my gods, are you alright? Here let me help you” he was suddenly right up in his face breathing onto his cheek, kneeling beside him with the pen behind his ear. 

“I’m fine, get your hands off me!” he commanded in a tone much harder than he had meant to. It was then that the man must have registered he was face to face with the prince and instantly rose to his feet to bow continuously. 

“Your highest majesty, how can I ever repay you, I offer my endless apologies. Please do not harm my village, I am terribly sorry, your highness, please forgive my ignorance” he spoke the words into the ground as he bowed. 

Hongjoong thought he must not have remembered or maybe he purposely cared to forget, or maybe it wasn’t the same boy at all, just a look alike who happened to sit at the right tree at the right time. 

But he had to try, he couldn’t live with himself otherwise. This was the one place he used to be able to come and just be. Just sit and be read to. Just jump around the forest and shoot invisible arrows at each other for hours upon hours, as if the rest of the world were not his responsibility at all. And it was here that he found himself, here that he felt more him than anywhere else he had ever been in his short life.

“Please stand straight” he tried to keep his tone softer now, acknowledging the awkwardness lingering in the air. Their eyes met again. He cleared his throat.

“Do you happen to know a boy named Shu?” his eyes searched the others face desperately, as he tried to hide his nerves in his clenched hands hanging behind his back. 

“I’m sorry your highness, but I’m not sure who-” , he knew those hands, that hair, those eyes. He would be able live a million years, travel the entire universe and never forget those eyes that stared at him so innocently, with so much care.

“We used to play here together, we called this tree The Fort and over there” he turned and pointed with his hand, not caring that he had interrupted the other, “was where we always used to say we would travel to one day, just the two of us, on horseback, riding endlessly into The Beyond. And you would write stories and every week, when we met, we would sit with our backs resting against this tree trunk and you would read them to me. You would read them with such passion I could almost image them jumping off the page and dancing around me.” 

He turned back to the boy who held an unreadable expression on his face, “Place tell me I’m right; it is Shu isn’t it?”. The boy opened his mouth as if he were going to say something before closing it again. He bowed once more eyes screwed shut and face crunched. “Your highest Majesty, if you are here to punish me for the way I treated you as I child I humbly take the punishment”. 

So, it was him. 

Why now treat him like a prince, simply because they had grown up? Maybe because he was more aware of their gap, their lack of connection. Or maybe he was just foolish as a child and hardly even registered he had met with the prince all those years. But relief washed over Hongjoong until he was drowning with cloudy eyes, fog forming in the corners. Out of nowhere he sunk to his knees and began to cry. 

“I-I um oh gods what do I do! Your highness shall I call for the guards” he crouched down beside him and tried to see the others face by looking through his fingers. “Did I do something to upset you, Y-your highness?”. 

Hongjoong inhaled deeply as his knees sank further into the mud beneath him peeling his hands away from his now further stained face. He let out a chuckle and smiled at the boy in front of him, who looked so concerned Hongjoong thought he would pass out any second. 

“Will you tell me your real name?” he reached his hand across to touch him, and brushed the smooth cold skin of his arm where his sleeves were rolled up, “We never told each other our real names”. 

“You must take me for a fool, I hope you know that I recognised you were the prince all those years”. “I thought highly of you” his eyes smiled up into the others, blinking though wet, black lashes, “I had hoped that even if you knew I was the prince, you would treat me no differently”. “As I did” Hongjoong hummed in agreement, “As you did”. 

“It’s Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa. I chose Shu because it’s a type of bread my mother used to make for me when I was little”, his voice was deeper, but still so soft, like velvet. “Can I help you up, Your highness” he said while standing and extending his hand out to be held. 

“Why are you venturing so far out in the rain? Does a prince not have daily duties to fulfil?” Hongjoong let out a sigh and stood with his help. He began wiping his cheeks with his cream sleeves before being handed a slightly wet piece of cloth. 

“Thank you. I just needed some air, do you still come here often?”

“Every day Your Highness, everyday”. 

Hongjoong crept his way into his living quarters, trying to keep his feet as light as possible. His shoes were off, drenched in mud and dripping a trail behind him from where they were held in his hands. Once in his room and out of sight he sank down onto the floor with his back pressed against the door. 

The pair had sat for a while at the tree, neither really saying much, both just accepting the others company again. Hongjoong really had thought he would never get the opportunity to meet the boy again and yet there he was, sitting, almost like he was waiting to be found. 

He had asked would they meet again, hoping desperately they could return to the past and keep up the tradition they once had. And it seemed the other had the same idea when he replied “Next week?”. 

Hongjoong’s heart thought it would burst with joy, that he would spill out onto the floor of his bedroom and drown in his own happiness. Something to live for, something to get him through the week. Someone to speak to. 

The knock on his door pulled him from his dreaming state as he quickly jumped under the shelter of his bedsheets to hide. “Your Highness, I saw the mud- O-oh Sir I am ever so sorry for disrupting your sleep. Will I call for the doctor?”. 

“Shut the door and step inside Yeosang” he whispered it from under the sheets.

“I went on a ride and ruined my robes, do you think you can wash them out for me...without anyone else knowing?”. As he pulled himself out of the bed Yeosang’s face physically dropped. “Oh, Your Highness, I’m not sure they are saveable”, he let out a little laugh, almost a giggle as he pulled at the wet sleeves to help him undress. 

* * *

Although it was different, the atmosphere between them, the space they now shared beside the tree, it was still comforting. It still felt more homely than any grand room the palace could offer him and Hongjoong hoped that maybe it was just because so much time had passed, they would be back to normal in no time. 

“Will you read to me today?” he fluttered his eyelids and smiled warmly as he turned his head. Their faces were almost a foot apart and Hongjoong could see a bead of sweat on the others forehead, travelling down his face. 

The sun was out today, the complete opposite of the last day and seeing the world like this made it almost seem like a whole different place. He got to properly see the tops of the mountains which the village sat at the foot of and the clouds no longer covered the valleys to the right them. 

More importantly he could see Seonghwa. Properly. Every line and crease and hair was accentuated by the bright sun shining on him, he looked almost angelic.

Hongjoong’s stomach flipped inside him, why did this boy have to be so pretty.

“Only if you will stop staring at me like that, Your highness”, he froze, he hadn’t realised he had actually been looking at him the entire time and their faces seemed much closer than before. Had he possibly moved to get a better look? 

He quickly jumped back to his spot and sat his arms neatly in his crossed legs, his eyes watching his fingers fiddle with one another. He cleared his throat and let a nervous laugh free, “I-I...I wasn’t staring”. His eyes flicked up to where they were met with a smirking Seonghwa, his warm eyes burning into his soul and he quickly shot them back down to his own fingers. 

He heard a huff from beside him, “What would you like? Your Majesty” “Something exciting! Filled with adventure” he cheered with a big wide smile, all his blinding white teeth flashing at him. “You haven’t changed a bit”.

That was what he wanted to hear. That somewhere inside he was still the same man. That deep down under all the layers of perfume, heavy cloth and makeup, he was still himself. 

They both began to relax as Seonghwa read from his brown, suede journal. His writing was so awful that if Hongjoong was asked to read it he would not be able make out a single word. But at least what was written was so wonderful. 

He had read books on his travels, spent time in libraries searching for something that would satisfy his needs, a different universe he could jump into to forget this one. But nothing came close to what Seonghwa wrote, even as a child, and every one he tried only reminded him of the time before, when they would do this. 

Maybe it was just the fact that it was Seonghwa who wrote it, Seonghwa who read it, Seonghwa who’s beautiful mind thought of it. It was more like stepping into his universe and that seemed so much less lonely. 

“You should probably go back before the sun sets Your Highness, don’t want you getting lost in the forest” “I could never forget the way, even if I left for a hundred years!” “oh do not exaggerate Your Highness”. He jerked his eyes awake from resting them as he listened when he felt hot breath on his ear. 

“How did they put these on you?”, he was confused for a moment before realising Seonghwa was talking about the earrings. The ear he was looking at had a small royal blue diamond with a gold trim on it. “Does it not hurt?”

He suddenly felt the pad of a thumb brush over his earlobe and trace the diamond round a few times. He shuddered. “Ahaha only if you pull it” he shuffled away from him, the lack of distance between them making Hongjoong far too nervous. 

Seonghwa suddenly rose and Hongjoong regretted wasting the moment. 

“Right, well, I better get going! I mean uh...Your Highness may I depart from your presence?”. Seonghwa purposely changed his voice and stood straighter when he said it, as though mocking the fact that he was royalty. Hongjoong huffed and pouted while crossing his arms in the process. It made Seonghwa laugh and a warm fuzzy feeling rose up inside of him at the sound. 

“You need not speak to me formally....a-and you c-can call me Hongjoong, if you’d like...I’d like that”, he was fiddling with his fingers again, threading the ribbon which was hanging from his scrunched sleeves through and around his forefinger and thumb. His hands were shaking. Why was he so very nervous? 

“What an honour! I would like that as well”. Hongjoong jumped to his feet in a moment of joy and flung his body at Seonghwa, small arms wrapping round his neck in a tight hug. The other was so shocked he almost lost his balance, but remained in his spot, cautiously wrapping his arms around his tiny waist. 

“I missed you Seonghwa”, he heard a sharp intake of breath from the other followed by a low hum. 

“I missed you too”.

* * *

The weeks turned to months within a matter of moments and before long it was winter. The trees lacked the lush green leaves they once had and the forest now looked bare, the lack of shelter making them feel exposed to the world when they met. The gardens surrounding the palace however, were still overflowing with flowers, the winter ones, which were able to last through the chilling wind of winter. 

Today Hongjoong had a training session with Jongho early in the afternoon and as he walked out into the courtyard the cold nipped at his fingers. The cherry blossom tree in the centre of the courtyard was bare, merely a skeleton that’s bark seemed to be peeling off, one side of its trunk painted in white. 

It had snowed through the night and now light snowflakes were gently sitting on the grass, the flowers, the stepping stones that led to the baths. 

They had been meeting each other often, never missing their plans. But no matter how much they met Hongjoong still let his mind wander, up until he was standing right under the tree face to face with the boy. He worried that one day Seonghwa would not show up and that they would never meet again, or that he would be too late and he had already made his way back to the village. 

But the thing he worried about most was that one day he would be too busy, that he would have an appointment he had forgotten and Seonghwa would be left, sitting under the tree, in the cold, alone, waiting for a man who never cared to show up. 

Today would be that day. 

He rushed through his sessions, trying to speed along his Tai-chi and arrow practice, which only resulted in him failing dramatically at both. He was not where he was meant to be, his mind was constantly wandering to 5 o’clock. What would he wear today? how would he ask Yeosang to do his hair? would it possibly snow and they could dance around in the field as it fluttered down onto their heads. 

Afternoon tea came and went. And like every other day it was then tutoring in the library and language studies, followed by signing documents upon documents. Just when he had finally finished and was making his way back to his room with a slight skip in his step, mentally preparing himself to see Seonghwa again, he was called to the drawing room by his mother. 

He quickly shuffled his way through the endless halls, down two flights of stairs and through the screen doors. 

“You called?”, “Yes son, tonight you will take your princess for a walk around the grounds, the snow is light and the frost looks beautiful in the late evening. You may take the carriage however, as it is too cold for a woman to be out”. 

Hongjoong clenched his jaw, along with his fists. His mother sat there, stitching an elaborate pattern into a piece of scarlet satin, giving him orders, telling him how his night should be, what he need do and not do. He felt powerless, as though his life really wasn’t his at all and that harsh reality made him want to burst.  
“I have already occupied my evening mother”, he tried to keep a straight face, voice calm, neither the rage or annoyance shining through it. 

Seonghwa would be there, waiting. The snow would fall down on his cold skin as he would wait, almost into the night, just in case Hongjoong was late, just in case he had misplaced the time and would show up later. Hongjoong knew he would. He was the kind of person who would wait forever if someone had promised him something, he trusted their word and here Hongjoong was, about to break it. 

There was no way of getting word to him either, to tell him he was alright and it was just the fact that his queen-to-be was so very demanding and needy that he could not attend. No one else knew of their meeting, no one else knew of Seonghwa. So his only option was to let him sit, wait and freeze. 

“That is none of my concern, you have a duty, you will fulfil it.” 

He left the room with a grunt, wishing he could be the one to slam the doors instead of the guards either side who gently pushed it shut. 

The rest of the week dragged by, everyday felt double the length of the one before and the one after seemed as though it would never come. His daily duties didn’t help to distract him from what sat heavy on his mind, constantly eating away at the back of his head.

And his nightmare came true when the day finally arrived and he got the chance to sneak away to their tree, only to be met with an empty space and a cold wind. 

But he didn’t let it faze him and waited a while longer, hoping and begging the universe that Seonghwa was not holding a grudge and was just late. 

* * *

Seonghwa rushed about the bakery, trying his best to clean every counter down with the damp rag. He was running late, business had been good today, so good that he hardly got a moment to breathe. 

After both his parents passing, he had gone to live with his uncle and aunt, to stay in the small room above the bakery that smelled of burning stones and fresh bread.

He quickly swept the floor with the broom, stacked the left over loaves into the storage cupboard and grabbed his journal before rushing out of the house. The streets were even crowded tonight as he tried to shuffle his way through. He had no knowledge of the time, but he knew he was late by the lack of light along the dirt track as he followed it out of the village.

The sun had almost set in the west, between the two snowy mountains and the wind froze his already numb fingers. It was a long walk from the village to the tree, but one he had made almost everyday of his life. After a day’s work he would eat stew with his Aunt beside the fire and then set off on his way.

She never asked where he went, not because she trusted him but because she didn’t care. She didn’t care about where he went, who he was with or even if he would ever return. He was just a pair of hands they could use to bring money into the house, and an extra mouth to feed. 

On approaching the hill he saw a stationary body laying on its side beneath the tree, a pile of robes and heavy cloth. Hongjoong had fallen asleep.  
“Your highness, Hongjoong” he whispered it sharply and went to shake him awake. 

He always thought being with royalty would make him feel lowly, an unimportant beggar with no purpose to his life. But Hongjoong was so very different. He looked at him with such admiration Seonghwa felt like he would faint.

When he listened to his stories he had written, it made him feel like maybe he wasn’t a nobody, surely if he was, the Prince would not want to spend so much time with him. They had grown up together and although when he was young he didn’t quite comprehend the fact the this was The Prince, that he shouldn’t really throw him into the dirt and tackle him to the ground like he did with all the other boys of the village, he still even now felt like they connected. 

They met each other in the middle of some path that no one else seemed to walk on, they understood each other on a deeper level, in a way that had no sense of status or wealth. 

“Hongjoonggg”, he woke with a shake and slowly opened his eyes to a shadow of a man standing before him, sitting up in an instant. “Oh, aha sorry, I must have fallen asleep” “Yes, I believe you did”. He sat down beside him. 

“Sorry I was late; the village was very busy today”. Hongjoong was still sleepy his eyelids barely able to hold themselves open. He hummed in response letting them fall closed just for a moment, before remembering he was the one who hadn’t showed up at all the last day. 

“Seonghwa! I was ready to come, I really was. But then my mother called me into the drawing room and began spitting orders at me to take this princess for a tour of the grounds and I had to dress in my formal robes and get my hair re-dyed for it. 

Then we spent the whole evening in this cramped up little carriage going around all the hundreds of paths I hardly even knew existed. And she wouldn’t stop talking and going on and on about how winter is her favourite and how her father always buys her the very best of everything and how she just loves...” his words were becoming a mixture of mumbling spit as he dramatically illustrated his treacherous night with his hands flying around the place. 

“Did you freeze? I felt so terrible, I couldn’t sleep the entire night. I should have come and told you. I’m sorry Seonghwa” he pouted, cute puffy cheeks turning rosy from being overly frustrated, even in the cold. 

But to Hongjoong’s surprise Seonghwa began to laugh, his nose scrunched and mouth parted. 

“Oh, Your Highness, you don’t have to worry about me. I come here every day remember? I’m not upset, just grateful you showed up today”. Hongjoong let out a massive sigh of relief and leant his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder, “I thought you would hate me”.

“For being a prince, you are very bad at controlling your emotions Hongjoong”, as he said his name his patted his soft hair and let out a giggle, “Do you want me to read to you today?”. “Is the light not too faint?” “I wrote them, I can almost remember what they say in the pitch black”. 

And so, they sat against the tree and watched the sun sink further into the mountains, the field in front of them freezing over, fallen leaves crystallised with frost. Hongjoong listening with his head resting against Seonghwa’s shoulder and the other read aloud, both enjoying the other’s company, both content with where they were, both wishing they could just stay like that, forever.

* * *

They lived through the winter like that, freezing on the top of a hill, watching the sun set once a week. It was what kept Hongjoong going, what made him want to continue into the next week and the next. They began to become comfortable with each other again, as though no time had passed at all. 

Hongjoong was not afraid of sharing how awful his week had been even though he knew, compared to the other’s, it was a walk in the park. Seonghwa would sometimes open up as well, sharing that he didn’t have a father either, or a mother for that fact and Hongjoong had no idea he had lived with his Aunt and Uncle almost his entire life. 

They knew what they were doing was wrong, at least Hongjoong knew how he felt was wrong. He knew the punishment for becoming friends with the commoners, for secretly meeting with them behind the Queen’s back. And yes, maybe he was meant to be the king soon and could probably change the law if he wished it to be changed. 

However, he would never have the final say while his mother was still alive, she would rule him as long as she lived and he knew that she would have it no other way. 

But that didn’t stop him. It didn’t stop his heart from racing, his fingertips tracing Seonghwa’s veins on his hands when they were placed on his leg. It didn’t stop him from falling asleep on him a couple of times, when the week was long and the night closed in faster than usual. 

They became so comfortable with one another Hongjoong began to think he could say or do anything in the other’s presence and he wouldn’t mind. That they could speak about anything and everything, neither judging the others opinion, just listening intently and humming in response. That he could stand there, completely stripped and bare, open up his soul and still feel at home.

* * *

“Hongjoong, where did you go last night?”. He turned around to see a black haired Wooyoung poking his head through the door of the library, a smirk sitting on his lips. 

“Didn’t mother tell you my business is none of your concern” he turned back to the dusty book he was reading, about the history of Hiraeth and the war that created this nation. “Will I just go ask her then?” the voice was right behind him now and he could feel the way his brother would be standing, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, nose pointed at the ceiling. 

“Don’t you have tutoring to attend to? Leave me in peace to study” “Not until you tell me. I watch you sometimes, I haven’t found a pattern yet but I’m sure there is one. You take a horse from the stable, ride out down past the river, alongside the camellia flowers and you follow the path all the way to the end of the gardens and then just disappear”.

“Have you nothing better to be doing then sorting through my business, I will be your King soon, some respect for my private life would be much appreciated”. Hongjoong spat the words out, even though he knew being King would only mean more people in his business. He knew that whatever he did, if he made one wrong move, if would spread around the kingdom like water spilling out a bucket. 

“It’s a woman isn’t it. You are wasting your time Your Highness, you know unless she is royalty there is no use in falling in love with her.”  
It’s actually a man.

He wanted to say it, to shove it down Wooyoung’s throat and watch him choke on it. But he wouldn’t, especially because what he had with Seonghwa was not meant to be a loving relationship, just a loving friendship. 

He always wondered though, if Seonghwa felt the same way. If he pictured holding Hongjoong when he slept like Hongjoong dreamt about being held, if he wanted to hold his hand, to touch his face, to brush his lips across each other’s, just to feel what it was like, just to try it.

But maybe he was completely off track and Seonghwa, like he should, would throw him back to his dirty palace and never want to talk to him again.  
“I’m going for a walk” he closed the book over with a bang and pushed past a screaming Wooyoung, “I knew it! I knew it.”

* * *

As the frost began to melt and the nights became longer and so too did Hongjoong’s list of duties. It was coming up to his 21st birthday and three months after that he would be married and then crowned and that was him. 

He thought about all the time he had wasted not telling Seonghwa the truth, not being open about how he felt. But now that spring was coming round, his heart sank at the realisation in exactly one year he would be a married king and there was nothing he could do about. 

And as a King seeing Seonghwa, meeting him, was completely out of the picture. Seonghwa must have known as well though, everyone knew the coronation took place in the spring after the Prince’s 21st birthday. And he must have registered the fact that to be King Hongjoong would need a Queen. 

But apart from that one time he mentioned the tour he took his princess on of the grounds, neither of them had mentioned her since. She was a shadow who invaded the space between them, yet neither wanted to acknowledge her presence, both turning the other way if she was almost mentioned. She polluted the atmosphere, but neither of them wanted to breath anyway. 

One evening when the sun was just barely still hanging low in the sky, Hongjoong made his way across the small bridge and navigated through the trees. Even in the evenings he could still feel the heat creeping into the days, making the mud beneath the horses’ hooves soft and the bird’s song slightly louder. 

Today he was wearing pastel mint robes that wrapped tightly around his middle and accentuated his small waist. His hair was tied in a short high ponytail with two skinny braids running down the back of his neck and the sun stretched its way through every leaf to warm his glowing skin. 

When he arrived Seonghwa was nowhere to be seen, so he laid out a blanket he had begun to bring, to protect his clothes from getting dirty, for Yeosang’s sake and sat watching the slight movement of the village below. 

From here he could just barely see the gas lanterns of the street being turned on ready for the nightly markets. The hum of voices could be heard from all the way up in the hills even through the people were merely colourful dots shuffling about the place. 

“Good evening” Seonghwa was standing right beside him and he jumped with fright, he must have been so lost in the village....he forgot why he was even there. He rose to his feet and they both bowed to greet each other. 

Just then Seonghwa took his hands out from behind his back and wrapped in his delicate honey fingers was a variety of wind flowers tied with a yellow ribbon.  
“I picked these for you” he smiled; eyes alight. 

Hongjoong was stunned, shocked. His mouth fell open to form an o shape and he thought his knees would give out. No one was ever so kind.

Yes maybe people threw flowers at him when he paraded each town and village he visited and yes maybe gold coins were collected in the back of his carriage from every princess he had met. And he knew that he would be gifted with gold necklaces and head pieces whenever his birthday came around. 

But this was different. This was Seonghwa actually showing that he liked Hongjoong and wanted to give him something, not because he was a Prince or a soon to be King but because he was himself, because he liked him just the way he was, without the jewels or title or crown. 

“I-I don’t know what to say Seonghwa....T-thank you”, his cheeks headed and belly swirled but the other only smiled brighter, pushing the flowers into his hands. 

“Come sit, what shall I read today?”

* * *

One night, after a long day of tiresome meetings and gatherings, Hongjoong found himself lying awake in the dead of night. It was quiet in his room and an earie silence settled between the window out to his balcony and his bed. 

The room felt lonely like this. There was few who had ever entered into his room except for Yeosang and the occasional maid to wash it down every now and then. The space was filled with himself, no one else, and that fact echoed around until he was shivering under his thick sheets. 

His lace curtains hung opened clinging to the oak panels on the floor, sweeping across them as the wind snuck through his window. The night was clear and he could see from where he lay that the stars were out, shining down on the earth like little eyes twinkling. 

He pulled back his sheets and was swept with the cool air as he creeped his way over to the doors to step out onto his balcony. It was small, only about two feet wide and had a wooden railing which he leant himself against. 

The tree outside his window had small buds on it, just beginning to grow as they waited for the warmth of the summer wind to allow them to open up to the world. He remembered when he was little he would always sit at this balcony on a stool and Yeosang would braid his hair as the flowers opened in the mornings. 

The sound that echoed around his room at that time was of birds whistling in the late evenings and the crickets chirping their song. Yeosang had been by his side from since he was a child and he was the one person Hongjoong felt understood him, at least more than anyone else. 

He remembered when he was very small Yeosang would feed him, bathe him in the hot springs and dress him every morning. He was more of a guardian than his mother ever was. And he trusted him to keep his secrets he cared to share, if there ever were any. He was grateful.

Hongjoong watched as the silent wind floated through the trees, the small buds dancing along with a few leaves. It calmed him to watch the leaves like that, to be reminded that nature just was and needed be nothing else. It helped him breathe, grounded him to the earth when he thought his head could not float any further away. 

And although nature was ever changing, from season to season, never constant or rigid. Although he could not depend on nature, on the colour the leaves would turn in autumn, if the snow would fall on the correct day or the strength of the wind. It was his reminder to just be, to live as life came, for nothing was truly constant. 

In a matter of moments, he was outside running past the hibiscus plants begging their bloom and the cherry blossoms sleeping peacefully. His bed robes were flying behind him as his feet pattered along the concrete steeping stones to the bridge. 

The sound of the crackling stream below ushered him to continue until he was at the foot of the small hill that held the tree. He wrapped his cloak around him tightly and tied it to secure it in place before he climbed the hill in the pitch black. 

Once he reached the top he had no regrets of venturing out into the darkness. The moon hung low in the sky, full and glowing, casting a dull light on the earth below. 

Above him the sky sang, a whistling of silence echoing around him. The longer he looked the more they became visible. Tiny, like twinkling eyes looking down upon him, all lining up to have a look. The sky was so clear he felt as though he was looking up into space, through space and into the universe, to the unending pit. 

“They remind me how small I truly am”

The soft voice broke the silence and he jumped at the sound before turning to meet with the boy sitting under the tree. 

“You frightened me” he whispered back with his hand over his heart as he walked over and sat down beside the boy, closer than he should have, trying to soak in some of his warmth. And they both tilted their heads up to peer into the painted black background. 

“I don’t think I have ever seen so many” “This night is special, usually it’s just a few that can be seen and then the clouds cover them or the light from the village distorts their visibility”. He hummed in response, enjoying just listening to Seonghwa’s calming voice. 

“Sometimes when I used to come up here, I would feel like I was floating above the earth, like I wasn’t part of it. It was a beautifully feeling. I have never met another person here apart from you. Even in the summer when the field is yellow with the crop, no one cares to come up as far at this spot. It’s like it was specially made just for us, just a space we could share.”

“But I wasn’t here for so long. Why did you continue to come all those years?”

“I felt closer, to what I do not know, but like some part of me was able to reach out here and just be one with the world instead of against it. I felt you closer Hongjoong. It almost feels like home”

Hongjoong felt tears pooling in his eyes and he lay his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder to hide his face. 

“Yes, it feels like home”.

Seonghwa never asked Hongjoong why he was out there in the middle of the night and Hongjoong didn’t inquire upon the other either. They sat in silence for a lot of it, just listening to the other breathing, almost like reminding each other they were truly alive. 

It was a comfortable silence though. There was something about the atmosphere they created by being together that seemed to touch over everything. From upon that hill the world seemed as though it was theirs, and neither of them needed to say it but they both understood that to be in each other’s presence was a beautiful blessing. 

“Seonghwa?”, he broke through their silence with a breathy whisper.

He felt the others chest heave slightly as he let out a soft hum in response. He could feel the others heart beating against his ear where his head sat sinking further into his chest, the hand around his waist gave a little squeeze as if nudging him on to ask whatever he was going to inquire. 

“Can I kiss you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Tell me that you think, I will update soon ❤️


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